When Defeat Comes a Knockin’

We are all familiar with it. We have all known it at one point in our lives or another… or several. It smells like rotten eggs…. OK I am being dramatic. It’s defeat. (Cue ominous music…) On any path to wellness, there are hurdles. Some of those hurdles we clear like a champ, but before we are even done celebrating our small victories – the very next hurdle takes us out at the knees and we are left embarrassed, sore, and dirty. I hate laundry. Anyway. This was my day yesterday. Without going into lengthy details – I have been very excited about the prospect of yesterday. I am trying to build a small business, and yesterday was a chance to take another step in the right direction, even a small one. So what happened? I am so glad you asked. New England happened.


Thanks very much, Winter, for ruining this day for me. Quick little background on me: I have ADHD and one of the biggest hurdles for me is dealing with disappointment. I have always had difficulty in my reaction to disappointment. When I was a kid, my mom knew that there was something off about the way I handled it. She said that to me, there was no difference between broken plans and a death in the family by the way I would react to negativity in my life. This is a constant battle for me, and one of the most difficult to overcome. In my experience, mind frame can be one of the hardest things to change. Needless to say, things not going as planned yesterday leads me to all sorts of negative thoughts. I believe this happens because my mind is so active in the positive when I am looking forward to something. I plan the entire thing out in my head, I think about the results and where they may then lead, I play out my entire future that is depending on this one, singular event. Then when things do not go as planned, my entire world comes crashing down at my feet and I stare helplessly at the pieces that have no hope of being put back together. Dramatic, huh? This is just a glimpse to the inside of my head. Can you imagine? Yes, I have had had many planet crashed in my life. Way more than I would even want to attempt to count. Usually this happens a few times a month.
This is one of the things I chose to work on this year. It has been a work in progress since my 5 year old son was born, because in my mind, I do not want him to grow up dealing with disappointment the same way I do. I try to have my melt downs in private when they occur. It’s not fair to him that his mom could win Oscars for dramatic performance. Baby steps to wellness, my friends, baby steps.
So what did I do last night when defeat’s ugly face and rotten egg smell was looming over my shoulder?
 I held my breath and faced it. I allowed it to overtake me, but only for a moment. I filled my diffuser with Stress Away and Lavender essential oils and I forced myself, as painful as it was, to think positively. When would there be another chance to accomplish what I intended to accomplish today? What were my potential prospects? What could this defeat open doorways to? Perhaps, disappointment and defeat are simply longer, uglier pathways to success. I like to try to tell myself that what is meant to be will be, and that disappointment is simply opportunity in disguise. Maybe as you’re reading this it sounds silly. Maybe it is, but I encourage you to give it a shot. The next time that you feel like life could not get any worse and you want to punch the person who first said “when it rains, it pours” square in the jaw, try to focus on the positive in your life and what positives may come as a result of this negative. It worked for me.
Stress Away contains a powerful blend of lime, Copaiba, cedarwood, vanilla, ocotea, and lavender, and it smells AMAZING. It promotes feelings of peace, relaxation, and comfort. How on Earth do essential oils affect mood? Science, my dear friends, I do love science. Your sense of smell is closely associated with the limbic system in your brain. Parts of the limbic system, particularly the thalamus, are responsible for associating smells with memories and emotions. Have you ever smelled apple pie baking and thought instantly of your grandmother? That is your thalamus at work. Essential oils tie into that complex system and can help to change your emotions. I highly recommend meditating with Stress Away diffusing any time that the negativity bug is biting, it clears all the mental yuck and leaves you feeling refreshed and ready to tackle a new day. I diffused this all night last night, and today, I feel as though yesterday was not a pitfall, only a hurdle that I will overcome and be stronger as a result.

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